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On Living

Ashley here… Reporting to you from my hotel room in Italy, where I’m sporting a new muumuu (thanks to all the carbonara pasta I’ve been inhaling, my pants no longer fit).

As I was sitting in a restaurant for dinner last night, I watched an American couple talking. When the waitress came to take their order, the women asked, “do you have anything with no dairy and that’s not fried?”

Woman, you’re in ITALY, I thought.

On one hand, I loved her discipline. On the other, I got curious as to whether this level of restriction she was showing was a pattern in her life, bleeding into many areas.

Some thoughts to share with you about this…

1.    We all have patterns in our lives—some are serving us, some are not. I invite you to start paying attention to the patterns that show up in your life and career. Notice where repeated circumstances show up—are you finding that you’re always passed up for a promotion? Are you finding that you’re always feeling sensitive at work?

2.    Decide how they’re serving you. No matter how bad any pattern seems in your life—be it drinking a little too much, choosing to hang out with a bad group of friends, never seeing things through—there is always a way that it’s subconsciously working for you. For example, perhaps you’re always dating people who aren’t a good match for you, and maybe that’s serving you because you’re subconsciously not ready to settle down… A lot of the time, our seemingly negative behavior patterns (in career and life) are protection mechanisms trying to keep us “safe.”

3.    Wherever there’s a “negative” pattern in your life, know that there’s a belief system keeping it in tact. For example, I used to have a pattern of disappearing when friends would hurt my feelings. I didn’t know why I did this, until I examined my mental dialogue that was keeping this pattern alive: if she really cared, she wouldn’t hurt me. She doesn’t care about me.

By paying attention to this, I was able to ask myself: IS THIS TRUE? Does she really not care about me? If you silence yourself, you can hear your mental dialogue, too.

Many people at work have a pattern of apologizing—what’s the mental thought process keeping them in it? Everyone’s is unique.

4.    Forgive yourself. Straight up.

“I forgive myself for buying into the belief that __________________, the truth is ________________”

Keep forgiving yourself until you let it go, and you truly feel the truth inside of you.

In loving service,



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